It’s been quiet on my blog for a while now. That’s partly because of my new job, but also because I took a little trip. This is my story about exhaustion and the journey of the last few years, though a completely different one than I originally thought.
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you might remember my post Put on your own mask before assisting others. Back then, I wrote about silent drowning, absolute exhaustion, and running on fumes. I called it burnout. Today, with some distance and an official ADHD diagnosis, I know: It wasn’t a classic burnout; it was an ADHD burnout.
It was the exhaustion of a brain that had to run at 200% its whole life, without a filter, just to function in a neurotypical world. A brain that had to buy its focus through stress, adrenaline, and the constant panic of looming deadlines. The price for this was high: a permanently tense body and empty batteries.
Actually, I had known for about eight years that I have ADHD. But I consciously chose never to get officially diagnosed. I didn’t want the “label” and was firmly convinced that the toolbox of coping strategies I had built up over the years would be completely sufficient. But then came the last few years. The COVID-19 pandemic and other challenges demanded an extreme amount of energy that had to be spent elsewhere. This inevitably led to having less and less energy left for actual symptom management and constant compensation. My toolbox simply reached its limits.
The official diagnosis eventually became necessary for a very pragmatic reason: to even have the option of trying medication. I faced the big question, should I really take this step? It’s a very personal decision, but I at least wanted to find out if medication could give me that missing filter that had drained so much of my energy all these years. After some research and consulting with my doctor, I chose Lisdexamfetamine. The deciding factor was its efficacy profile, it’s a long-acting medication, a so-called prodrug, which is only gradually converted into its active form in the body. This promised a long, more even duration of effect without the extreme roller coaster rides of short-acting stimulants, exactly what I need for long workdays and family life.
So, I recently started medication. But if you think a pill is the solution to everything, I have to disappoint you. The medication is just the engine. The rest has to come from you, partly through behavioral changes. The last few weeks have been an intense journey of understanding my own body, of failing, and of learning. I want to share my insights here, hoping they might help some of you who are in the same boat.
The Ignition Key: L-Tyrosine and Blood Sugar
I thought I basically knew how my body worked. But an ADHD brain on medication has its own rules of the game. The first rule I learned was that proteins are an ignition key.
More specifically, it’s about the amino acid L-tyrosine. It is the direct building block our brain uses to produce dopamine. You can supply this via supplements like pure L-tyrosine or DLPA (DL-phenylalanine), but a solid base of proteins in the morning (for me, ideally shortly after taking the meds) does something else too. Especially when relying on plant-based protein sources, they stabilize blood sugar, which is a crucial foundation for my day. A constant blood sugar level is essential for the Lisdexamfetamine to work evenly and to prevent suddenly falling into a deep hypoglycemic hole. Without this ignition key, the brain runs rough.
From Adrenaline to Focused Calm
Perhaps the most important thing I’ve learned is the difference between adrenaline focus and dopamine focus. For years, I unconsciously self-medicated through extreme sports, time pressure, and stress. Adrenaline was my substitute dopamine.
The problem? Adrenaline puts the body into a permanent fight-or-flight mode. You function somehow, but you burn out from the inside. It leads to a constant baseline tension in the body and often to an extremely short fuse, which is especially unhelpful in everyday family life.
Today, I seek focused calm—for me, the optimal state of ADHD management. I achieve it by countering the medication with targeted vagus nerve regulation. For example, 20 minutes of Yoga Nidra when I have time, or even just 5 minutes of breath meditation, help me create the perfect state for my brain. My head becomes completely clear, my thoughts are razor-sharp, but my body remains absolutely calm. I have highly functional cognitive performance combined with the perfect resting heart rate.
The Focus Armor: Hydration & The “Don’ts”
We all know we should drink enough water. But with ADHD medication, this is no longer a nice to have. The medication dehydrates you, a common side effect is constant dry mouth, and depletes the body of electrolytes. If I forget to drink, a “focus armor” builds up over the course of the day, a physical baseline tension that feels like a vise, especially in the neck. My way out of this is a 0.75l bottle with four rubber bands. Every time it’s empty, a band moves from the body to the neck of the bottle. Micro-gamification that externalizes the cognitive load.
Besides the things that help, there were also some hard lessons about things I should better avoid:
- The Calorie Deficit: When I started the medication, I was in a calorie deficit. A huge mistake. The medication boosts your metabolism and often suppresses your appetite. If you then deprive your body of energy on top of that, it leads straight to severe physical and mental exhaustion. The brain needs sufficient fuel to function.
- Coffee (Caffeine): The combination of Lisdexamfetamine and regular coffee is problematic for me within the first 5-6 hours. It pushes the cardiovascular system too hard and triggers exactly the adrenaline I actually want to avoid. My alternative is a large pot of black, decaffeinated tea. It gives me the comforting ritual of a hot morning beverage while simultaneously contributing to my hydration.
Taking Action on Insights
In another post, I wrote, “We should take action on the insights we have”. This applies to ourselves, too. When we notice our executive function declining in the afternoon, when the so-called rebound starts, there is no point in torturing ourselves through the remaining hours with pure willpower.
I have to learn to listen to the signals. A “nappuccino” (a 15-minute power nap + an espresso) around lunchtime works wonders for me. And if my head is empty after 5 hours of meetings, that’s not a failure, it’s biology. It doesn’t call for self-deprecation, but ideally for a so-called somatic release. That can be an infrared blanket, a HIIT workout that clears the head, a walk, or simply staring out the window for 10 minutes without doing anything else.
The True Superpower
Sometimes I catch myself thinking: How would my life have turned out if I had started medication much earlier, ideally in childhood? Would a lot of things have been easier? Definitely. But I don’t look back with regret. On the contrary, I am very happy with where I am in life today.
In fact, I now see it this way: the medication itself is not the superpower. Rather, it is the tool that unlocks my actual superpowers. All the tools I painstakingly acquired over the years but could never really use, like time management, structuring work, the Pomodoro technique for focused execution, I can now finally use them truly and sustainably.
If I had started medication early on, I probably would never have felt the urge to try out so many different tools. I likely would have always settled for the first best solution. But as it is, out of sheer necessity, I have built up a massive repertoire of coping strategies, which I can now fully draw upon in combination with the medication.
I am still learning every day. But the shift from a constant survival strategy to the active management of my energy is a privilege for which I am enormously grateful.
Take care of yourselves, listen to your bodies, and don’t forget: Put on your own mask before assisting others.
Additional links (which helped me to learn)
https://www.reddit.com/r/VyvanseADHD/comments/13x8h87/comment/jmlsnmb/
Englisch-VersionEs war länger ruhig auf meinem Blog, das hat auf der einen Seite mit meinem neuen Job zu tun, aber auch mit einer kleinen Reise. Dies ist